What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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