and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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