His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize