So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
