are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
