My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
