oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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