Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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