I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
