So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
