Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
