ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
