Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
