i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
