Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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