Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
