What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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