This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
