what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize