i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
