Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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