i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
