Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
