I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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