I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
