You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
