did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
