I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
