My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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