Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just high enough for therapy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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