No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
