There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
