My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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