Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize