need another drink. this is the easiest way
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
