The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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