Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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