Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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