I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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