yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize