brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
