dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
