I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
