if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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