Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
