I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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