why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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