the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
