dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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