After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
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Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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