literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
