a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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