I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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