I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize