Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
