wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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