Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Enjoy the penises
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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