You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
